Spokane Limerick Winners

We received some amazing entries for the March Creative Challenge. We said Spokane-flavored limericks, and you took us seriously. Prizes were graciously provided by The Checkerboard Tavern, with the grand prize being tickets to Interplayers, with runners up receiving a local music CD. Voting began at the Checkerboard on St. Patrick’s Day, and was continued online for 24 hours.

And the winners are… (drumroll please):

Grand prize: Devon Kelley (G)

Runners up:
Taylor Weech (K)
Nathan Foster (C)
Hilary Wittington (H)
Jane Silver (L)

Enjoy everyone’s creative brainchildren below:

A.  Bonnie Cooper
There came an Irish lassie to Spokane
with her soapbox and flames to fan.
The economy was dismal;
the job line abysmal.
Being thrown into jail was her plan.
(In honor of Elizabeth Gurley Flynn who came to Spokane in 1909 to protest unfair labor practices.)

B.  Hilary Wittington
There’s a trash eating goat over there,
It was built for the Spokane world’s fair.
Give him your empty cup,
He’ll suck it right up,
Vote him Spokane’s new mayor?

C.  Nathan Foster
For everyone tempted to dive
The sign read “stay out stay alive.”
The force in the dam
Will turn you to spam:
I doubt you could ever survive.

D.  Brooke Matson (not in running for prize)
Most don’t think of livestock as art
or janitorial work as smart
but as limericks are dirty
our city’s made pretty
by the suction goat in the park.

E.  Harpman Hatter
Playin’ the harp on the streets of Spokane
Duckin’ and dodgin the security man
He’s always lookin for the Harpman
He wants to put out the music ban.

Then I am playin’ the harp at Northtown Mall
And my brother gives me a call
Hey the security is lookin’ for yall
It’s sounding all over in the stores and the hall.

So I get a license to play on the street
To help take off the security heat
And change the policeman’s beat
To help the people tap their feet.

The license gave others the power
Wouldn’t let me play for even one hour
Couldn’t even play by the clock tower
But their trip didn’t make me cower

So I told the police I’m gonna toss this license one day
Oh yeah you say?
Yep, not the worth the money I pay
For it limits me where I play

I fought the License law and won
Almost got a jolt from a taser gun
Stood my ground and gave them the stun
This stuff I do is sometimes fun

I say continually come downtown and sing and play
You will meet the Harpman one day
Who stood the ground and had his say
And made it happen for the music to stay

F.  Hilary Wittington
I love the centennial trail,
I wish they’d put it on sale
I would buy a mile
To skateboard in style
And after, we’d go drink some ale.

G.  Devon Kelley
When it comes to litter pollution,
Spokane has a clever solution.
Now I don’t mean to gloat,
but a trash-eating goat?
Why the logic is downright Confucian.

H.  Hilary Wittington
There once was a man from Spokane,
Who loved to drink his barley and bran.
His Camero was tight,
painted primer and white.
And his mullet was long like Tarzan.

I.  Brooke Matson (not in running for prize)
Some thing progressive women are bossy
and are to be feared in a posse
but Shrinking Violets are proud
they’ll say it out loud:
“We’re smart, social, and saucy!”

J.  Taylor Weech
The creepy bus men of Spo-Cain–
I tell you—they can be a pain
And ridin’ STA,
Middle of the day,
Girl, you will know what I’m sayin’!

K.  Taylor Weech
“It’s hard!” I hear some of them prattle
“Spokane is one long uphill battle!”
“But that’s why it’s fun!”
I tell everyone
…Guess they’ll all move to Seattle.

L. Jane Silver
Oh dearest city so grand,
I’ll happily take you by the hand
as we gondola o’er the river
and skate iced ponds in lieu of shiver.
How I ♥ thee, my sweet Spokandyland.

Stay tuned for next month’s creative challenge, which will prove to be even more exciting.

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